another moral hangover. fuck.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
