I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
