wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
