i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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