Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
