You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This baby is an asshole
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
