conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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