how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
