Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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