Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
