I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
