piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
