I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
