VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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