I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
