p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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