These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
