I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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