you would pick up someone in the library
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
