called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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