I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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