addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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