I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
