you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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