hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
BRING THE BAGELS
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
