Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize