you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
