i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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