He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
