He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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