By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i drank out of a bidet.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
