She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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