I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
