Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
