My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
