Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
