I like my sex mixed with concussions.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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