Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
