you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
