yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
