Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
