dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
