And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
