talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
