Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
