finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
we're making bets on your personal life
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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