We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
