If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
