I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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