How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The beer is more important than you right now.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
