the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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