We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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