Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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