Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
bring money and cleavage
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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