Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
