Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
