yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize