How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
