you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
