don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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